"A Gift From The Sea" by Lindburgh

(From my "Mentoring in the Classics" online discussion)
Ian Cox:
1) What is the main idea, activity, principle, etc. that you got from this book and the audios that you need to implement into your life?
2) Our environment can be one of our greatest assets or one of our worst nightmares. Don't you think?

Me:

This statement about the role of environment is my answer to your original question. My big ah-hah so far from this book has been to simplify, simplify, simplify!! After reading the "Channeled Whelk" chapter, I was impressed with the idea that American's have probably the greatest ability to choose simplicity or complexity in life and we so often choose complexity. I remember living in Hungary in a one bedroom apartment with 9 children and having to do our laundry by hand and shop for groceries without a car. The former was done in spite of storms and subsequent clothes in the mud and the latter with only a stroller that I got to drive up a steep hill on the way home. However, I remember being amazed at how I still had the time to do the same schooling, the same bonding experiences as a family that we had been able to do in America. Sometimes the many things we possess to make our lives "simpler" actually get in the way!

Her cottage on the shore comes to mind now as I am going through a deep-clean purge of our house pre-Christmas holiday. I shared Anne's thoughts with my kids during our devotional with the sounds of the ocean from our computer creating an ambience :). They thought it was pretty cool and some of them joined me. My daughter moving out to college in Idaho said it changed what she realized she needed to bring (which will probably free up a lot of van space when we drive cross-country to drop her off :D!). I love the perfect timing of this book in my life.

I also find it is interesting that this book follows "Dumbing Us Down" in this course. The ideas in "Dumbing Us Down" can really make us want to take on the the world. Following that motivating book with one on simplicity and appreciation has been an interesting and benefical contrast for me. Does anyone else have any thoughts on the positioning of these two books back to back? Would the mentors who planned it this way be willing to share their reasoning?

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Gabriela:

I ended up reading this book twice. The first time I had mixed feelings about it until I listened to the debriefing audio. So, I went back and started reading again having in mind the question about how to read a classic, and my personal questions. What a difference that made! I really like the book and I was able to connect the second time I read it. I understand the author has a peculiar life story being in the public eye, having a toddler that was kidnapped and found dead, knowing that her husband lived a double life with another woman and children after his death. That made me think that Anne Lindbergh must have something interesting to say. Loved the book! One of the lessons that got to me was the lesson of simplicity. In one part of the book she mentions that the American woman is in such unique position that can choose between a simple or complex life, and still chooses multiplicity. I reflected on my personal life and it would be easier just to keep things simple. There are so many things that we do not need from furniture, extra unnecessary activities, etc.. Makes me think of the things that are really important, and ask myself in the future the question. Do I really need that? :)

Me:

Wow! I haven't finished the book yet and probably shouldn't have read the spoiler above :D! However, I am actually really glad you shared that because it lends deeper meaning to what she is writing and maybe why she is writing it...perhaps even why she is all by herself on the beach writing these thoughts. That context definitely shifts some things for me. Thanks!

You know, it was probably good that I read this book at first innocent of her history. It gave me a very open-minded impression. After having read more about her life now could create some shadows of doubt on her possible hypocrisy. Now I can continue reading with hopefully maintaining my original joy in her philosophical bent and with the added context of her background and experience. What interesting people!

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Ian: 

I love the value she gives for personal reflection, thinking, and for being at peace. Taking the personal time for rejuvenating and re-energizing oneself. We live in a society that highly values hard labor, both blue collar and white collar work. We downplay the value of thinking and pondering work; which can be the most valuable, it is definitely a vital part of fulfilling one's mission and achieving great success.

This book was tough for me, I have a hard time slowing down and smelling the roses... But it is a large part of a Leadership Education; learning how to think.

Me:

Amen! I found this book, from necessity, made me slow down in order to savor the truths and really reflect on how to apply them because they were so deep. So true.

Knowing what I do now of the pain of her experiences makes me remember anew the collateral beauty of perspective that can come through heart ache and trials. (We just watched "Collateral Beauty" starring Will Smith so this concept is fresh on my mind.) Times of extreme emotion can cause us to see things more clearly through the starkness of being stripped emotionally down to the core. Her trials I am sure added to her clarity of perspective.

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Holly:

"The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient... To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith." p11 WOW, this brings so many things to my mind that it is almost overwhelming. Childbirth is faith. Core phase is faith, Love of learning is faith, scholar phase is faith... even my own phases when I attempt to push them I feel out of balance. When I ponder, pray and ask for the guidance of God books fall open to the perfect page I need.

Me:

This statement really hit home to me as well! I too often seek for immediate results of behavior and have a hard time being patient. I like the different examples of faith you gave, even tying childbirth into that process. I hadn't thought of that before. Life is faith. Waking up and starting each new day requires a degree of faith.

Your last statment reminds me of something a friend told me years ago. I had just come home from a TJEd seminary and was contemplating which mentor I should choose to direct me to the next step. I brought this up to my friend and she asked me for what kind of mentor I was looking for. "I don't know," I replied. "Someone to really help me see the next step and give me direction in my life."

"God is the ultimate mentor, Mary," she said. "He can mentor you in incredible ways. You just have to trust Him."

I have found your statement true many times in my own life. I think it is interesting how I can feel inspired to pick up a particular book as well as inspired when to put it down. It is almost a sensation of "you have gotten what you need out of that one; now move on." Sometimes I am inspired to skim; sometimes to absorb...when I chose to listen and act. :) I have had incredible experiences where I will read an article or pick up a random book and read a little and find that what I just read is relevant soon thereafter in a conversation or problem that arises. That faith in our ultimate Mentor can really create miracles in our hectic lives when we let it!

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-My husband and I have been reading this aloud to each other. When I asked him what he didn't like he said that he didn't like how she brought up vague symbolism but wasn't really clear what it represented. He said it is a hard book to listen to. When I asked him what would make a self-improving book easier to listen to, he suggested direct statements and stories to reinforce the point. I thought this was an interesting contrast between his mode of thinking and speaking and my own :). I tend to be philosophical and scattered in thinking and communicating; he is to the point with comments and loves to give supportive examples. This book is definitely right along my lines of thinking!

-I felt like Anne's depiction of how a woman interacts with the world was spot on for me. The visual of a woman being at the center of a wheel with her attention being drawn out to many needs was particularly poignant as I have been struggling with this very situation. I feel so pulled, wanting to interact and meet the needs of so many around me, all the while yearning for the "philosophical peace and calm" she refers to...that quiet center of stability.

It seems that she seemed to suggest to do both wasn't really possible: to be outwardly focused in meeting needs and to be able to create that inward philosophical calm. She seemed to suggest that this is part of what creates angst in many women. Thoughts?

-I thought the comparison to being the center of the spokes of a wheel was a beautiful analogy. It rang true with further application to my relationship with my husband. He is truly like the outer part of the wheel, dealing with the world of providing and protecting our family while I feel more like the heart of our home connecting us all together and supporting and sustaining. Neither one works well without the other;each has different roles, complementary roles.

I think there are many truths about healthy husband/wife relationships that can be found through application of this analogy and have had fun exploring them. I am aware that no analogy is perfect within itself nor applicable to every situation or person but this one resonates with me!